It will be a bit of a struggle to get through today.  It's the birthday of my late sister, Kim, who took her life several years ago, and whom I miss deeply every day.  She and I were the closest of friends, and braving this world without her friendship and support is cruel and unusual punishment.  I am haunted by the thoughts of her last days, despite my efforts to focus on the good times and to conjure up happy memories.  I don't think that I will ever fully recover, although time has eased some of the acute pain of her loss.  I love you, Kimmy, wherever you are.
Today:  My emotions definitely have the better of me right now, and I feel the urge to consume and fill myself with something, food being the most likely and available candidate.  I had a yogurt for breakfast, some chicken and squash for lunch, and hopefully I'll be controlled at dinner.  Doing something like this with my hands helps a little bit, as does keeping myself distracted from the uncomfortable feelings that are rising within me today.
     I'm considering Kate Otto's suggestion of a more radical diet to lost a great deal of weight in a short time.  I think I'll call Dr. H to find out the doctor's name, and perhaps make an appointment to see her and find out more about it.  I'd welcome the chance to drop some serious poundage before the reunion!